Clark Kent/Superman Lois Lane Perry White Jimmy Olsen Dr. Friskin Bill Church Jr. Gene Newtrich Boomer Wally Karl Tiffani
Part 1
So, how was your ice cream date
with Agent Scardino? Now there's my favorite sight in the whole world: the truck that
delivers our payroll checks. Okay, if you don't want to talk about it,
I understand. It was... okay. I had chocolate, he ordered Rocky Road. And you talked about ... ? Things. (quickly) Lots of things. And at least he stuck around
long enough to have a conversation, unlike some people I know who are always running off. Lois, I do not always run off - Help! Police! I'll call the cops! (to herself) Unbelievable. (to anybody who'll listen) Hey! Help! They're robbing
that truck!
Don't worry, Lois, they'll be in jail before you
can say 'cappucino'. I'm afraid you'll have to take a raincheck
on those checks, boys. Really? What if we don't want to?
Oh... maybe nothing.
I mean, they'll just have to reissue them, so... what do I care? Uh... right. (to the other thugs)
Come on! Superman, you let them get away! No big deal, Lois. Most criminals are
repeat offenders. I'll probably catch them again later. What?! And if I don't, well... 'que sera, sera.' See ya! Hey! Come back here!!!
Clark, I mean, I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and see Patrick
Duffy in the shower and this will all have been a dream. He just let them drive right off! Lois, you know there is such a thing as individual
responsibility. What's that mean? The payroll company is responsible for the
safety of the checks, not Superman. Let them take care of it. What about the responsibility of the individual to the society as
a whole? The social contract that obligates one person to help others for
the betterment of everyone? If that's what you feel like, great. Otherwise, I say, kick back. Enjoy. Do your own thing. Clark! A Donut? Are you serious? As a bear claw. Or would you prefer jelly filled? Hehehe.
This is where Superman comes in! I talk
to him, and then -- There! That's when we opened the box.
When he got within about ten feet, his mood changed. Suddenly, it
was like he didn't care. Hahahahaaa! This is better than killing him!
He just doesn't care! That was the problem with green Kryptonite;
it always ticked him off. But this, this is perfect! C.K., here are the photos you need for the
Quine project. Huh? Oh. Sorry. I was just
wondering about why Superman let those crooks get away. Was that wild or what? I mean, what
was he thinking? I don't know. I -- He just didn't seem to... care. Man, those are the luckiest crooks in Metropolis. Not for long... ... because when Superman makes up his mind,
he doesn't stand by for anything. Excuse me. Lois Lane? Hu? Sign here, please. Don't tell me, Agent Scardino's on a stakeout
in a florist's shop. Jealousy is so unbecoming, don't you think? I wouldn't exactly call it jealousy, but... maybe we could discuss it Saturday night?
Say... over dinner and after a show? Clark... I have plans Saturday night. Lois, I know I sometimes seem be dart away
just when things start to get serious, but now I feel like you're the one
who's backing off. Oh, look, a note. "Dear Lois, sorry. But I need to reschedule lunch; I have to go out of town.
Should be back by Saturday. Can't wait. Yours in tulips, Dan." "Yours in tulips"! Maybe subconsciously Agent Scardino has finally
realized he's no good for you and is avoiding you. Was that a joke? Kind of. But seriously... maybe you and I are both a little afraid of
the same thing... of being completely intimate. Thank you, Dr. Freud. Maybe you could turn your powers of analysis to the robbery. Anything from the cops, yet? Nothing. I wonder how Mr. Stern's taking it? Judging by the way Perry's pacing, I'd say
'Not good'. Whoa-whoa-whoa. Now Franklin, I disagree!
The Planet is harder hitting than it's ever been. We're the last bastion of truth in Metropolis.
We're the lead man in the fight for justice! The lighthouse of enlightenment! Okay... great! Yes. Yes.
Give my best to Muriel. Call me when you get to Paris. You,
too. Bye. Have I lost my edge? No. Why do you say that? Oh, no reason. So, what'd Mr. Stern say? He's got an offer and he's thinking about
selling The Planet to Multiworld Communications. NO? He can't sell it to Intergang! Now, Lois, we've never had any proof that
Intergang runs Multiworld Communications. Everybody on the street knows it! Bill Church ran Intergang, and
now that he's retired, his son does! Whoa whoa whoa. Put a brake on that
wagon. I know you've been working on that story since November, but you're talking about Bill, Jr. I've known
him since he was old enough to throw up on me! Oh, that means he's innocent. Billy used to caddy for me and his Dad, and
the only thing he took over from Bill, Sr. is Costmart Stores. And he's doubled the stock. Now he's
one of the biggest philanthropists in the country. And certainly the biggest fake.
Chief! What did Mr. Stern say he was going to do
about the offer? Well, between the printers' strike and the
delivery drivers' sick out and now this payroll thing, he was this close to selling, but I talked
him out of it... Great! ... at least for seventy-two hours.
Then we're goners. Unless... we can prove to Mr. Stern, and me,
that Bill Church, Jr. is behind Intergang. Seventy-two hours?! It'll take us that long just to organize all
our research. Hey you want to swim with the billionaires,
you gotta swim fast. Now, I suggest we adjourn for lunch and you
can bring me up to speed on what you got so far. Chief, it's nine fifteen in the morning. Am I still in charge here?! When I say
lunch, it's lunch! Now move! You know, I got so many things on my mind,
I left my wallet in the car. I'll be right back. Gee, I can hardly wait to have some nice, fat, pastrami at nine-thirty
in the morning. Yeah. Ya-hoo! But if it helps keep us from being sold to
Multiworld Communications, I'm all for it. What? What, you don't want to be writing stories about 'My Stepmother
Was An Alien Go-Go Dancer'? Get the hell away from me! Clark! Hey! Perry! Let go! Let go of my arms! That was a big mistake! Gentleman?! Lucky for you Superman showed up. I was about
to do a little tap dance on your heads. Go ahead.
What? Tap dance! Or conga. Do whatever you want. I mean, what would
you do if I wasn't here? Superman? Haha! Perry!
So, is that "Tiffany" with an "i" or a "y"? Superman, Perry's just been kidnapped!
With an 'I', I didn't want to seem cliched, you
know? Go get him! Go stop the truck! Lois, don't have a stroke. What do you think police are for? So, do you like have to work out and stuff? Nope. It's all natural. Wanna
feel? I'm going to call the cops! (unconcerned) Cool. Wowww!
So, how long have you been in the canine personal
care industry? Oh, this isn't my normal job. I'm really
an actress. No! Really?!
